Can anything beat Heinz baked beans?

Baked beans: how do you like yours? Cold from the tin like Joanna Lumley and Gyles Brandreth, whose discussions on the subject have became a viral meme? Lumley uses a spoon, for scooping up the sauce, while Brandreth favours a fork to skewer every bean. 

I like mine hot from a pan, slathered on sourdough toast with a crispy fried egg on top and a deluge of grated cheese. These days they represent my perfect work-from-home convenience: quick, easy, relatively healthy and hugely comforting. But I may be in the minority. For many discerning adults, baked beans have an image problem. Other than as part of a full English breakfast, they tend to be dismissed as kiddie food, student fodder or – as one industry insider put it – kibble “for teenage boys playing FIFA”. Even grown-ups who haven’t grown out of baked beans get sheepish talking about their default supper. At best it’s a guilty pleasure. At worst a shameful secret. If I still worked in an office, I’d think twice about bringing in a tin for lunch.

Cupboard classics: eight global kitchen staples

South Korea: Shin Ramyun 

These noodles, made since 1986, are the country’s top-selling instant ramen.

Barbados: Eclipse crackers 

Firm and crisp, these biscuits are perfect for dunking in tea.

Germany: Hengstenberg Mustard pickles (Senfgurken)

Pickled cucumbers have been synonymous with the brand since it was founded in 1876 in Esslingen.

France: Pom’Potes

These fruit compote pouches have been a children’s snack favourite since they were launched in 1998.

US: Nestlé Toll House semi-sweet chocolate chips

In 1939, Ruth Wakefield added pieces of Nestlé chocolate to a cookie recipe expecting them to melt and accidentally created the chocolate-chip cookie.

Australia: Milo Malt Drink

Nestlé’s chocolate-flavoured malted powder drink was first developed in Australia in 1934.

Malaysia: Sambal Kerang Adabi

Spicy cockles in a hot sambal sauce – serve as is or with vegetables and herbs over rice or noodles.

Canada: Kraft Dinner

Launched in North America during the Great Depression, this dried mac and cheese has become a Canadian icon.

Of course “baked beans” mean different things to different people. In America, they might refer to Boston baked beans, which come in a sauce flavoured with molasses and salt pork, or Yankee beans, which use maple syrup instead of molasses. There are countless varieties of BBQ baked beans. One, from DJ BBQ’s book Fire Food: The Ultimate BBQ Cookbook (Quadrille, £16), pairs mixed beans with bacon lardons, sumac, paprika, bourbon, chipotle chillies, passata and balsamic vinegar among other ingredients. Most cultures also have what I call “beans-that-are-baked” dishes such as cassoulets. I draw a perhaps arbitrary distinction between these and “baked beans” in the British tradition, which are characterised by the white beans in a mild tomato sauce often synonymous with Heinz.

The Bold Bean Co launched in the UK in 2021 and enjoys a sizeable following among chefs for its premium jarred beans. It is now bringing out its first gourmet range of baked beans (£3.50 a jar, available to buy from 9 September). The “Classic” is made using sofrito, tamarind and apple cider vinegar in a tomato sauce, formulated to deliver a “more refined” yet “nostalgic Heinz hit”. They are hoping to appeal to adult consumers “who love baked beans but for whatever reason don’t eat them as often any more”, says founder Amelia Christie-Miller. The range also includes “Rich Tomato”, inspired by Mediterranean-style mezze dishes, and smoky “Chilli” made using chipotle chillies, which Christie-Miller sees appealing to baked bean eaters who want something radically different from Heinz. She compares the range to Charlie Bigham’s upmarket ready meals inasmuch as she hopes customers will be just as excited to come home to them: baked beans as treat not compromise.

Of course, if you want bougie baked beans, you can also bougie them up yourself. That’s the point of Amy Newsome’s “Broken Beans” recipe – a variation on smoky Boston beans made with tinned beans that became an international hit after it was featured on Jamie Oliver’s Cookbook Club last year. Taken from her book Honey: Recipes from a Beekeeper’s Kitchen (Quadrille, £27), the recipe gave rise to its own acronyms among converts: “BBB” (Before Broken Beans) and “ABB” (After Broken Beans). The recipe calls for softening a shallot and garlic in oil before adding paprika, fennel seeds, cumin, dried oregano, nduja, a can of baked beans, honey, mustard, salt and vinegar. Newsome suggests piling the beans on buttered toast with a scrape of Marmite and finishing with a poached egg. She attributes the recipe’s success to its mood-lifting tastiness, but also the permission it granted people to rustle up fancy baked beans “without the need to make them from scratch”.

As for which tinned beans to use, I’m currently enjoying Branston, which has a formidable tomatoey-ness and a tangy follow-through. A lifelong eater of Heinz, I’m ready to jump. 

@ajesh34